MY FAVOURITE BOOK IS LE NEVEU DE RAMEAU BY DIDEROT, NO PUN INTENDED by DF Lewis

 

Published 'Aabye' 1998

 

“Stop faffing about!” Flossie said.

            “What’s the problem, eh?” I managed to muster through loose teeth and porridge.

            “Go to the dentist and get your gums sorted out.  I’m fed up to the back...”  She suddenly stopped, realising what she was about to stay would have been a very bad pun, albeit an unintentional one.  The worst sort.

            “There’s more in the scheme of things, God, the cosmos, coincidences, creation, ley-lines, geomancy than worrying about nitty gritty things such as bleeding gums,” I said, grinning widely.  I hadn’t eaten real solids for quite a well.  Bread in hot milk.  Cup-a-soups.  Yoghourt.  And, yes, porridge was the most chunky stuff I could possibly manage.  But it didn’t stop my performance in other quarters.  Battering-rams and  mediæval catapults at dawn.  Nuff said?  Faff off!  But euphemisms are worse than puns.

            At that moment, Radio 3 put on Et Exspecto Resurrectionem Mortuorum (if I’ve got the title right) by Olivier Messiaen (if I’ve got his name spelt properly) .  A pretty solid piece, at the worst of times.  At least, it put paid to Flossie’s nagging, because she liked it, too, if the truth were told.  Neither of us are that picky where music is concerned.  Though we do draw a line at Rameau.  No black hole intended.